Bird Humor
(and some other critters for good measure)

Fable #1 - The Crow & the Rabbit
    A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
    The crow answered: "Sure, why not." 
    So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

The moral of the story is: To be sitting around and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Fable #2 - The Turkey & the Bull
    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." 
    "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with
    The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after the fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

The moral of the story: BS might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

On the run?
   What do busy cats eat?   Minute Mice

The Scouts
    Some boy scouts from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten.

    Then one of them saw some lightning bugs and said to his friend, "We might as well give up. They're coming after us with flashlights."

The Parrot
    David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives, were, to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example...
    Nothing worked.
    David yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shook the bird and the bird just got angrier and ruder. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream, and then suddenly, there was quiet. Not a sound for half a minute.
    He was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said, 
    "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness."
     David was astonished at the bird's dramatic change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, 
    "May I ask what the chicken did"?

    One day Timmy was in the back yard digging a hole.
Butch, the neighborhood bully, seeing him out there, decides to investigate.
    "Whatcha doin'?," he asks. 
    "My goldfish died and I'm burying him." Timmy replied with a tear in his eye.
    "That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't it?' sneered Butch.
    Timmy shot back "That's because he's still inside
your ugly tomcat"